ASK FATHER: Bisexual woman called hypocrite by mother for not accepting sister’s transgender lifestyle
From a reader…
QUAERITUR:
I am a young woman who also happens to be bisexual. Because it clashes with my faith values, I freely choose NOT to act on my sexual attraction to women. My family, who is NOT Catholic, doesn’t understand this. In fact, my mother thinks I am a hypocrite for not agreeing with my sister’s transgender lifestyle, because my being bisexual somehow means I must agree with and understand her.
How can I explain this situation to my family, in a way that doesn’t disrespect them or devalues my faith?
Ahhh yes. The Dictatorship of Relativism about which Pope Benedict XVI warned us, is in full swing!
If the supreme virtue is tolerance and acceptance, why doesn’t your mother accept and tolerate your viewpoints?
Of course, the short answer is that tolerance and acceptance are usually one-way streets. Everyone must tolerate and accept deviant lifestyles, but traditional views and mores are not to be tolerated in any way, shape or form.
I think that most people who live deviant lifestyles recognize, deep down in themselves, in the quiet parts of their minds, that their actions are wrong. They may have, with some limited success, beaten their consciences into submission, but “with unhurrying chase, and unperturbed pace, deliberate speed, majestic instancy, they beat – and a voice beat, more constant than the feet, ‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me’” to quote Francis Thompson. To keep themselves from hearing the inner voices of their conscience – and verily, the voice of God – they need a ringing chorus of support and “understanding” to help them maintain the illusion that what they are doing is perfectly normal, perfectly, healthy, and a perfectly legitimate choice.
How to convince your family? In most cases, impassioned intellectual arguments don’t do it. Prayer, certainly. Pray for your family, especially your sister.
But don’t forget to pray for yourself.
Turn to the Sacred Heart of Jesus that burns with impassioned love for all of us, and wants what’s best for us.
By cultivating a life of prayer and virtue, you will develop a happiness and inner sense of peace. Get involved in some form of wholesome volunteer work, according to your talents and your interests. Develop a healthy circle of virtuous friends who share your faith and your beliefs.
The emotional support that you should ordinarily get from your family will probably not be there for you and so you may have to rely more heavily on your Church family.
By showing your family the happiness and peace you will find in a life of prayer and virtue, you might just find that their hearts and minds will be more open to the truth.
Seek joy in holiness. Joy is communicable.
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