Every family has a Prodigal Son who has lost the faith – how do we bring them back?
Here is a book with a haunting title: The Prodigal you Love: Inviting Loved Ones back to the Church, by Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble FSP, published by Pauline Books and Media. I use the word “haunting” because in almost every family (and certainly in all the families I know) there is a prodigal son or daughter who has left the Faith, often for many years. This certainly weighs on the hearts of their parents who may feel helpless and sometimes hopeless.
They should draw courage from this hopeful book. Sister Noble, whose popular blog for the Patheos website is called “Pursued by Truth”, interweaves her own personal story and reflections on the parable of the Prodigal Son, alongside words of wisdom and common-sense to those who long to see their errant family members back in the fold. She herself, from a happy and devout Catholic family, abandoned her faith for ten years – from the ages of 14 to 24. She became an atheist, dyed her hair and went off to college determined to be “an intelligent, urbane atheist who would show the world that being a good person did not require imaginary gods.”
The trouble was that this didn’t satisfy her. Noble admits to a “natural attraction to the supernatural” so began reading Buddhist texts, attending Quaker meetings and taking classes in Eastern spiritual thinking. On graduation she spent time working among poor people in Costa Rica and it was here that her inner yearning for truth began to seriously assert itself. She notices that the people around her are poor – yet much happier than she is. They also believe in God.
She strikes up conversation with the parish priest who tells her he had once been a lawyer and engaged to be married – until God called him to the priesthood. Noble is struck by how happy he seems despite what to her is a bizarre choice. Nonetheless, shortly afterwards she experiences one of those mystical moments that people sometimes write about, when “a conviction filled me: God exists! [and] God was a Person.”
Drawing upon her insights into her own spiritual journey, Sister Noble draws thoughtful conclusions: if we want to help our loved ones we have to become humble ourselves: “If we do not model humility, then we can do little to encourage an attitude of faith [in them]”. The more we become like Jesus, “the more we are like a window drawing others to God.” Noble quotes Benedict XVI: it is not by proselytising that the Church grows “but by attraction”.
We also have to listen to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in communicating with those we love, remembering that “every person’s soul yearns for the sacramental life of the Church” and trusting that “the Spirit can guide us to unexpected answers”. Noble is clear that either admonishing people who have lapsed or relapsing into permanent silence about their spiritual state are not truly Christian options. If we always remain silent, she says, “Our silence is impotent and weak”; it risks becoming collusion.
We must also recognise that “no matter what we have said or done, our loved ones’ decisions to leave the Church are their own.” We are not responsible for their return, either; only God can effect this change; Jesus, not us, is their Saviour. Prayer, ultimately, is the key; the most important way we can help our prodigal family members. Sister Noble’s is a book offering solace as well as sensible advice. It is worth reading, especially for those suffering a long spiritual stalemate with loved ones.
