ASK FATHER: Regular genuflections and… shoes

From a reader…

QUAERITUR:

All my previous shoes I used during the liturgy [?] died from the same plague. The sole of the right shoe is broken, presumably, due to regular genuflections. I guess the wisdom of the Church should be aware of this problem. Do you have any advice?

You are suggesting that genuflecting is not good for the sole?

My first inclination was to say, “Go to the Novus Ordo in a suburban parish: you won’t genuflect nearly as often.”

For that matter going to a beautiful Eastern Divine Liturgy would do that too.  But you mentioned “liturgy” instead of Mass, so I don’t know what’s going on.

Yes, this is what happens. The shoe tend to wear faster because of genuflection. It can also be tough on certain areas of the pants, were the fabric get’s stressed.

Look, pal, I can’t help you with your shoes, okay?  The only thing I can think of to suggest is, take good care of them.  Keep them polished and treated so that the leather stays flexible.

That’s the way it is.

Why is it so?

Perhaps God hates shoes.

NO! Rather, God loves cobblers and shoemakers!

Should the Church be aware of this?  By all means!  You should write, immediately, to the Holy Father and tell him to channel the ghost of Bugnini and take all the genuflections out of Mass.

No.  Wait.  Don’t do that.  Really.

As far as your sole, and your soul, is concerned, apply the best correctives.

Examine your sole and go to the cobbler.

Examine your soul and …

GO TO CONFESSION.