I'm Here to Help Mark Shea and Simcha Fisher

Once you get the hang of their shtick, these stories write themselves!As a service to them, for which I expect only 1/3 of the fees from their gigs, here is a story I have pre-written for when Cardinal Pell gets sacked (We'll skip the whole, "Oh no, that could never happen" angle.  I understand you're paid to say these things. ;-)).  _____________Self-Proclaimed "Greatest Catholics Ever" are Complaining Again about Great Pope Francis Doing Something Great by Appointing Cardinal Pell as Chaplain for Liberian Ebola Campsby Mark and SimchaMoldy old Radtrads who think they're so great are still complaining about our wonderful Pope.  I don't know if you have heard, but Cardinal Pell, who used to be burdened with the Church's financial reforms, has been blessed by the Bishop of Rome.  The Pope has sent Cardinal Pell, who has long been rumored to be a crypto-Lefebvrian (trust us-- and don't search our archives for all those articles we wrote like two years ago saying how great he was), to a very much sought after post as Chaplain for Liberian Ebola Camps.  Of course, everyone who hates the Pope (we're looking at you, radtrads!) sees this as a demotion.  Ha!  They are to laugh.  This instead is a patented Francis two-fer.  Let us explain:First of all, it is a great honor to administer pastoral care to the dying.  We have no hard facts, mind you, but we heard a rumor that Cardinal Pell was denied his usual penchant for dress-up by the Holy Father.  See, Cardinal Pell, who we know has a thing for the old Mass we aren't allowed (for now) to say was abolished, wanted to wear an ostentatious respirator mask to ward off the Ebola virus!  As if!  No, this does not comport with the Pope's program of really getting the smell of the sheep.  Besides, the CDC assures us that Ebola is not airborne anyway.  Secondly, Cardinal Pell, despite the whinings of the real big traddy Catholics, had this coming anyway.  What the world-is-ending trad bloggers won't tell you is that Cardinal Pell is from AUSTRALIA-- A LAND ENTIRELY PEOPLED WITH CONVICTS.  This is the man they want holding the purse strings?!  Those trads would protest the reassignment of Judas Iscariot.So, to sum up:  Nothing to see here.  Move along.  Buy our books.  Pope Francis is great.  Pell is likely a felon or something.  Trads are in schism and hate Jews.  We love Francis!  And Buy Our Books!